Preparing for a Funeral Service

Preparing to Attend a Funeral Service

Could there be anything more difficult than preparing for a funeral? It doesn't matter if you're a member of the family, a co-worker, neighbour or family friend; preparing for a funeral service takes time and forethought.

If you're preparing to attend a funeral, memorial service, or celebration-of-life; the following tips and suggestions should help.

What Does "Get Prepared" Really Mean?

Getting ready to attend an end-of-life service is not just a matter of picking out the right clothes to wear; it's also essential to prepare physically, mentally and emotionally for the occasion. After all, you are going to be there to support the bereaved family, as well as the others who attend; and that takes inner strength and emotional fortitude. Never underestimate the importance of your presence, it will be noticed and appreciated.

Dressing for the Occasion

Without a doubt, these strict special dress requirements have fallen by the wayside, at least to some degree. Although some still proclaim that black is the right colour to wear for a funeral today, wearing another conservative colour isn't seen as disrespectful. However, you want to avoid wearing brightly coloured or wildly patterned fabrics (unless actually requested to do so by the family). And for women or girls, a modest appearance is preferred.

TIP: Dressing like you're going to a job interview.

Certainly, if you've got additional questions about what to wear to a funeral, call us at 705-264-4444.

Get Prepared: Physically, Mentally and Emotionally

The death of a loved one is among the most stressful experiences we will ever endure. The early days of bereavement, can include: frayed nerves, high emotions and sleepless nights. These difficult days are then followed by the funeral service. How can you possibly survive?

Here are some suggestions we believe you'll find valuable:

Maintain a state of "mindful awareness". When something bad happens, like the death of a loved one, we tend to detach physically, emotionally and socially. Instead, you should seek to be "mindful": be the present moment, while acknowledging (and accepting) your feelings, thoughts, and bodily reactions to your loss.

Do everything you can to stay physically healthy. The list of physical symptoms of grief is long: fatigue, body aches and pains, loss or change of appetite, shortness of breath, digestive issues, feelings of heaviness, and tightness in your throat or chest. When faced with an onslaught of physical symptoms like these, it's hard to know exactly how to deal with them. The first step is to recognize and name what your body is experiencing. Only then can you do something to change the way you're reacting to the loss.

During these days before the funeral:

Stay hydrated: drink eight (8 ounce) glasses of water.

Eat regularly: small meals and snacks are often better-accepted than large, calorically-laden one.

Rest regularly: you may find nights are long and sleepless,try to take short cat-naps throughout the day.

Move your body: take a walk or hike, go to the gym, or enjoy a leisurely swim.

Nurture your senses: listen to music or the sounds which abound in nature.

Engage in prayer or meditation: tap into, or get reacquainted with, your spiritual side.

Reduce your list of necessary activities and chores: now is the time to delegate tasks to others, so you can devote your time to self-care.

Reach out to your support network. Neighbors, friends and family members can be your lifeline right now - and some of them may even be coming to you right now to see how they can help. Don't turn them away; instead, give them the opportunity to give the gift of service. Allow them to walk this path with you for as long as, and in whatever ways, they can. The same goes for the network of professional caregivers: don't neglect to turn to clergy, your family physician, therapist, or grief counselor if you feel your bereavement to be more than you can handle (now, or at any time in the future).
Prepare to speak less and listen more. End-of-life ceremonies (whether a "traditional" funeral, memorial service or celebration-of-life) offer those gathered the chance to share their feelings, tell stories and take comfort from one another. Don't spend too much time talking, unless it's to share something truly meaningful (about the deceased and your relationship to him or her) with others; instead, be ready to listen with a whole heart. This is a time for respectful interactions with other mourners; a time for focusing on the life of the deceased, and also a time for renewing the ties which brought you all together in the first place.